I think my fart just growled at me.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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