I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
