Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
