I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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