I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
