if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize
