i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
