i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
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