I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
