ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize