So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
