Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
God, I missed his penis.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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