God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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