butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
