these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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