Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
