shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
