we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
