he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
