I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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