The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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