This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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