You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
