They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize