If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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