the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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