help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
