i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize