I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
