i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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