i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
