barbara walters just said penis...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
