I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
