Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
