I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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