I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
