I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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