Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
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