ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
