hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
