I wanna bring you to show and tell
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Redeem this text for a blowjob
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
