im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
