Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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