i just made my gag reflex go away.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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