so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
