do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize