Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize