Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
