Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Oh god it's open bar.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
