I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
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