He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
