i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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