By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
