Just took my morning after pill in the library
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
How does it feel to date your dad?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
