I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Randomize
