You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize