i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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