This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
