So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize